A FREE book that can be read at the back of 'How to make Victoria Sponge'.
Autism affects the whole family not just the person who is born with it.
Johnny hates to be different and all he wants is to be the same as everyone else.
Because Johnny is different he is bullied at school.
Everything becomes too much for this sensitive young man and he flips out yelling at his mum:
Tuesday evening - (as taken from the book ‘How to make Victoria Sponge Chapter Two)
“I hate you mum. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate God.” Johnny forcefully says at the top of his sobs. “I want to end it all. I have had enough. I know how to kill myself. It would be better for all of us if I were not alive. I am too much trouble, a nuisance and I would be better off dead.”
Wednesday evening – (as taken from the book ‘How to make Victoria Sponge Chapter Three)
I am sorry for the things I said to you. I don’t hate you mum, I just get so angry inside with myself for being me. I don’t understand who I am, but thank you for your love, for knowing my limitations and accepting them.
I feel like I am serving a life term in prison. I see you standing out of reach; I try to reach you but my body and mind are trapped behind the bars. I stretch my arms as far as possible but the bars prevent me from reaching you, from hugging you showing my true feelings. I am a prisoner unable to escape the cell of my disability.
I long to be free to express my inner self, to be part of your world, to join in and be like everyone else. I hate being different, trapped in a parallel world. A world alien to you and the family. Seeing, unable to partake. There is no key, not even a lock to put a key into, no release.
I am a reluctant prisoner, confined indefinitely, with no reprieve date. What heinous crime have I committed to be serving this sentence? How do I find freedom?
I may not show it but I do love you, I always have.
Thanks for hanging in there for me.
Having written this letter to his mum, Johnny is very surprised at who visits him in the middle of the night with the answers.